two distinct groups of parents can be identified on tiktok: those who engage in comical acts involving their children and those who exert great efforts to ensure their children's online anonymity.


kodye elyse, a prominent tiktok personality, decided to refrain from featuring her three children on her social media platforms due to an unsettling encounter online. a video she posted in 2020, showcasing her young daughter's dance routine, went viral and attracted numerous disturbing comments from unfamiliar men. it is worth noting that she deliberately requested the new york times to withhold her full name from publication, as both she and her children have been victims of doxxing incidents in the past.


according to kodye elyse, who boasts 4 million followers on tiktok and shares content related to her work as a cosmetic tattoo artist and her experiences as a single mother, the internet often feels like a real-life version of "the truman show." she emphasizes the unpredictability of who might be observing her online activities.


following this distressing occurrence, kodye elyse took measures to eliminate her children's images from the internet. she meticulously traced all her online accounts on platforms such as facebook and pinterest, either deleting them or adjusting their privacy settings accordingly. subsequently, she joined the chorus of tiktok creators encouraging fellow parents to refrain from publicly sharing content about their children.


nevertheless, in september, she discovered that her efforts had not entirely yielded the desired outcomes. kodye elyse utilized pimeyes, an alarming search engine equipped with facial recognition technology that can locate images of individuals on the internet within seconds. upon uploading a picture of her 7-year-old son, she encountered an unknown image of him among the search results. to gain access to the origin of the photo, she had to subscribe to a $29.99 plan.


it turned out that the unfamiliar image emerged from a photograph taken during a soccer game by her former husband, where they were situated in the front row behind the goal. realizing that persuading the news organization to remove the photo would be an arduous endeavor, she opted to submit an opt-out request on pimeyes, seeking the removal of her son's image from search results. additionally, she found a toddler-age photo of her 9-year-old daughter being used for promotional purposes by a summer camp. kodye elyse successfully requested the camp to take down the photo.


she asserts, "i believe everyone should be vigilant in monitoring this matter. it serves as an effective means of ensuring that nobody repurposes images of your children."


be cautious of the phenomenon called 'sharenting'


the extent to which parents should openly share details about their children on digital platforms has garnered extensive discussion and scrutiny, leading to the coining of the term "sharenting."


in the past, the primary concern regarding parents oversharing online revolved around the invasion of their children's privacy. however, advancements in artificial intelligence-based technologies have introduced novel risks whereby malicious actors can exploit online content featuring children.


these risks include scams utilizing deepfake technology to imitate children's voices convincingly, as well as the potential for strangers to discover a child's name and address through a simple search of their photo.


amanda lenhart, the head of research at common sense media, a nonprofit organization offering media guidance to parents, highlights a recent public service campaign by deutsche telekom that emphasizes the need for cautious sharing of children's data.


the campaign features an actress portraying a fictitious 9-year-old named ella, whose parents indiscreetly post photos and videos of her online. deepfake technology is utilized to generate a digitally aged version of ella, who admonishes her fictional parents, revealing that her identity has been stolen, her voice has been replicated to deceive others into believing she has been kidnapped, and an explicit photo of her younger self has been exploited.


lenhart acknowledges that the campaign may appear forceful but contends that it effectively showcases the considerable capabilities of the technology. scammers are already employing ai tools to mimic the voices of loved ones in distress, making fraudulent calls to unsuspecting individuals.


jennifer destefano, an arizona-based mother, received a call this year from an individual claiming to have kidnapped her 15-year-old daughter. in her congressional testimony during the summer, she recounts answering the phone to hear her daughter, briana, sobbing and imploring for help.


destefano proceeded to negotiate with the alleged kidnappers, prepared to pay them $50,000 as demanded. however, she soon discovered that her daughter was safely at home, resting in bed.


Obscure online photos and videos may potentially be connected to an individual's face through facial recognition technology, which has significantly advanced in its power and accuracy in recent years. in particular, images captured at locations such as schools, daycares, birthday parties, or playgrounds could surface in search results. (in cases where a school or daycare requests a waiver, it is entirely permissible to decline.)


debbie reynolds, a data privacy and emerging technologies consultant, explains that parents have greater control over their children's image when they are younger. however, as children grow up, establish friendships, and participate in social events, including schools taking photographs, this control diminishes.


to address this issue, reynolds suggests that parents proactively search for their children's faces online using services like pimeyes or facecheck.id. if they encounter content they are uncomfortable with, she advises attempting to have the relevant websites remove the photos (although some websites, like news outlets, may be less amenable to such requests).


according to a 2020 pew research survey, over 80% of parents share photos, videos, and information about their children on social media platforms. while it is unclear how many parents limit the sharing of such images solely to private social media accounts, as opposed to public ones, experts note that private sharing is becoming increasingly common.


personally, when i share digital photos of my own daughters, i tend to utilize private messaging apps or restrict access to my instagram account to friends and family members only. however, when i conducted a search for their faces on pimeyes, i unexpectedly discovered a public photo i had forgotten about. this particular photo, which had accompanied a story i had written, depicted my now six-year-old daughter when she was two. consequently, i contacted pimeyes and requested the removal of the image from their search results, effectively ensuring it no longer appears in searches.


while a public face search engine can be a practical tool for parents, it also carries the risk of being exploited for malicious purposes. bill fitzgerald, a privacy researcher, explains that tools like pimeyes can be just as easily used by stalkers as by concerned parents. fitzgerald further expresses concern regarding overzealous parents exploiting such tools to monitor their teenage children's activities.


the owner of pimeyes, giorgi gobronidze, reports that over 200 accounts have been deactivated on the platform due to inappropriate searches involving children's faces. similarly, clearview ai, a comparable facial recognition engine exclusively utilized by law enforcement agencies, has been employed to identify victims in images related to child sexual abuse. gobronidze asserts that organizations committed to human rights have employed pimeyes for the purpose of assisting children. however, due to concerns over potential exploitation by child predators, pimeyes is actively developing a feature to block searches of faces that seem to belong to minors. (fitzgerald worries that parents using the tool to locate their own children may inadvertently contribute to the algorithm's improved recognition of minors.)


mimi ito, a cultural anthropologist and director of the connected learning lab at the university of california, irvine, observes that facial recognition technology introduces challenges to the otherwise joyful act of sharing children's photos online. ito emphasizes the growing awareness that with ai, individuals have limited control over the data they contribute to the broader social media ecosystem.


taking control of one's online footprint is crucial. lucy and mike fitzgerald, professional ballroom dancers from st. louis who actively leverage social media to promote their business, abstain from posting images of their five- and three-year-old daughters online. they have requested that their friends and family members respect this prohibition. the fitzgeralds strongly believe that their daughters should have the autonomy to establish and govern their own online presence, thereby safeguarding their images from potential misuse.


lucy fitzgerald highlights her concerns regarding the alarming ease with which someone's photo can be stolen and exploited for various purposes. although she acknowledges the appeal of sharing photos of one's children, she and her husband are determined to spare their daughters the potential unintended consequences that may arise from such exposure.


while the fitzgeralds do not claim to possess expert knowledge of forthcoming technological developments, they had an intuition years ago that there would be capabilities beyond our current foresight that could eventually pose problems for their children.


interestingly, individuals who possess a deeper understanding of forthcoming tech advancements, such as edward snowden, the former national security agency contractor turned whistleblower, and mark zuckerberg, the co-founder of facebook, deliberately obscure their children's faces in publicly shared social media posts. zuckerberg, for instance, uses the somewhat clumsy method of emojifying his older children's heads in holiday-themed posts on instagram. snowden and his wife, lindsay mills, artfully obscure the face of one of their two sons by positioning him behind a balloon in photographs.


mills expresses her desire for their children to have the freedom to choose how and when they disclose their identities to the world.


a spokesperson for mark zuckerberg declined to comment.


Many experts have observed that teenagers are highly conscious of how they shape their digital personas. to safeguard their privacy, some adolescents resort to using pseudonyms online to avoid detection by parents, teachers, or potential employers. however, even if they employ pseudonyms, their true identities can still be exposed through face search engines if they have publicly shared images featuring their faces.


priya kumar, an assistant professor at pennsylvania state university who has extensively researched the privacy implications of "sharenting" (the act of sharing children's personal information online), asserts that it is extremely difficult to keep one's face away from the internet. kumar recommends that parents involve their children, starting as young as four years old, in discussions about which images are suitable for sharing on digital platforms.


in a blog post on slate a decade ago, amy webb, ceo of future today institute, made a commitment not to post personal photos or identifying information about her toddler online. this pledge inadvertently sparked a challenge, as some readers managed to uncover a family photo webb had accidentally made public. this incident illustrates the formidable challenge of shielding a child from the internet. webb's daughter, now a teenager, appreciates the fact that she remains an "online ghost" and believes that this will benefit her professionally. she predicts that future employers will find no online presence for her, and she considers this an advantage that will contribute to her future success.


similarly, other young individuals who have been raised in the era of rampant online sharing express gratitude for their parents' decision not to post their photos publicly. sixteen-year-old shreya nallamothu, a student whose research on child influencers led to a new law in illinois requiring parents to set aside earnings for their children when they feature in monetized online content, expresses deep gratitude that her parents have refrained from sharing "super embarrassing moments" about her on social media.


nallamothu highlights the fact that there are classmates in her grade who possess remarkable skills in finding facebook accounts of their peers' parents and scrolling through their histories. any cringeworthy material they discover becomes fodder for fleeting birthday posts on snapchat.


arielle geismar, a 22-year-old college student and digital safety advocate in washington, considers it a "privilege to grow up without a digital identity being made for you."


geismar asserts, "kids today serve as technology's guinea pigs," and emphasizes the importance of protecting and caring for them in this digital age.


(c) 2023 the new york times company